Why Women Don’t Want Men to Cry
While I can guess at the reasons most men tell themselves not to cry, I am no expert on the matter. But I DO know why so very often women don’t want men to cry. Most are still taken aback by it and even turned off by it. Men know this much, and act accordingly by holding in emotions. Why do so many women feel resistant to seeing a man cry, much less comforting him? And what are the consequences of this?
In an old episode of Kojak with Telly Savalas from 1973 he is talking with a woman who wants Kojak to let the man she loves get a promotion in the police force. Kojak is dismayed by her desire to have the officer put at risk in an even more dangerous job and his dialogue goes like this:
“Somebody once, uh, asked T. E. Lawrence why men go to war. And you know what he said? He said, ‘Because the women are watching.’ ”
It is a telling statement. A compelling one. And when I came across this quote I began to wonder why so many of us as women praise men when they enter danger and don’t show tears or break down in the face of crisis and fear and terror.
Of course, there is a general human tendency to believe we all must deal somehow with whatever happens in life. This is true. But crying doesn’t prevent successful and effective action — in fact, it usually allows it to emerge, since it brings relief from intense stress…
