“There Is No Distinctly American Criminal Class Save Congress” ~ Mark Twain

Or to say it another way, why we ordinary citizens don’t have a chance against them

Regina Clarke

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Congress in session
U.S. Congress in session (Public Domain)

Wolves live and hunt in “packs” while a group of crows is called a “murder.” Dolphins live in “pods” and sea otters together are called a “raft.” Prairie dogs live in “coteries” and bats congregate in a “cauldron.” Gorillas are a “troop” and raccoons a “gaze” and zebras a “dazzle.” Alligators in a group are a “congregation,” while penguins are a “colony,” meerkats a “gang” or “mob,” and parrots a “pandemonium.” I am trying to come up with a word for the group of men and women in Congress. I feel it is an important task for me to take on.

But it is not an easy task. Although seeing a photo of Congress like the one above ought to help, it doesn’t. They all look alike to me, which is a good start to their being a defined group. But is their likeness a deterrent to good government — therefore not good for the people of these United States? A resounding YES echoes through my brain. They have no true independent thought process, nor do they seek one out. Unlike the animal species I first described, who all thrive on cooperation and caring for the whole, Congress is continually adrift in a morass of its own making.

I sense — nay, I know! — members of Congress do think alike in highly specific ways — which is another way of saying they don’t “think” at all. They broadcast, and devote a huge amount of energy to talking like the Borg, not listening. I give here just some of those ways from the long list I created. I’d like to say I burned the midnight oil over this, but actually it only took me thirty minutes — the evidence was so available, like scooping algae off a stagnant pond (no offense to algae or pond intended).

Before I give the list, a couple of quotes come to mind that I keep near at hand whenever I read the news about something Congressional politicians have said or done on any given day, no matter what is going on domestically or in the world at large (events of which they appear to know nothing about with any semblance of accuracy):

“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
Mark Twain

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Regina Clarke

Storyteller and dreamer. I write about the English language, being human, the magic of life, and metaphysics. Ph.D. in English Literature. www.regina-clarke.com