How to Stop Needing Everyone to Like You — and Why

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Gerd Altmann

At the heart of it, the feeling comes to us too often and too soon that we lack something, as if we are not enough and somehow need fixing so we can be deemed acceptable, welcomed, significant.

What we do to counter this feeling most of the time is look for solutions outside ourselves, in the behavior of other people toward us. And far too often if we are rejected or spurned by people, we assume it is our fault, either consciously or unconsciously, which isn’t a good place to be. It is also a false assumption.

No one ever will exist as you are, in your essential body, mind, and heart. Your talents and gifts will never be owned and lived in exactly the same way by any other person for the whole history of life on earth.

So why do you care if you fit in with another’s viewpoint or requirement or judgment when it contradicts your own? You are you. It is a great mystery. And it is a great revelation.

Two things help bring a shift into being, this shift in awareness that opens you up to recognition of your own unique worthiness, no matter what anyone, anywhere, ever does to you or says about you. One is to establish boundaries, and the other is to trust in your right to exist, the way you trusted it when you took your first breath.

In the image above there are different wavelengths. A multitude of wavelengths exists in the universe, some of which we witness in the visual and vibrational and electromagnetic spectrums. When wavelengths become synchronized, there is an identification one to the other, the presence of balance and equilibrium. We identify this for ourselves very successfully in our day-to-day experience. We know when we meet someone or talk to someone whether we are “in sync” with that person. We sense we are on the same wavelength. We feel a connection with the other person or a group that is visceral.

Written by

Storyteller and dreamer. I write about the English language, being human, the magic of life, and metaphysics.

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